Tuesday, March 22, 2016

A Tourist through Fallout 4 : Home Sweeter Home

Megan Wampler

The end times are super-stressful, so I like to take a break and do some interior decorating between every quest. I was just walking alongside these railroad tracks and this zombie that I thought was dead wasn't dead... or you know... all zombies are dead but some more than others, and this one was only 50% dead. It really startled me and I hit the wrong button and looked through my scope instead of going into V.A.T.S. and then it was biting me and my screen was flashing red. I killed it, but then I just wanted to go home. Sometimes you're just not in the mood to fight for your own survival.

While I was at home though, I fancied up my pool table and renovated my 1950's prefab kitchen into a chem lab. I figure property devaluation just isn't a concern in the apocalypse, so you know... blast out that wall and combine two small bedrooms to make an armory. That covered patio would look better with a machine gun turret atop it, right?


My kitchen turned into a very quaint chem (meth?) lab with minimal work. I put up a sign that says 'WAFFLES' because I thought it might confuse raiders that this room is just used for snacks... and then they won't steal all my drugs. (That's not true at all, but if Bethesda put that mechanic in then I would love them for it.) Actually I don't know if raiders actually steal anything...  I should probably google that.
This is as close as I will ever be to being a 1950's housewife. I can't pan the camera far enough back to know whether or not I'm wearing high heels for certain, but I *feel* like I am and that's what matters.
I know, I know... my baby has been stolen by sinister agents of an unknown scientific community specializing in human mutagen research... but did you notice that I found the *matching* salt shaker and pepper mill? How could I NOT take the time out from searching for my baby to set a pretty breakfast table?
Yeah, that's right... I put tatos and sweet rolls on the plates. It only took me 34 tries to get that yellow plate to not fall through the table or slide at a 23 degree angle through the cereal box. I persevered though, cause I am a *fighter*.


I also found a skin-tight red sparkle dress and some 'fashionable glasses' that add +3 charisma, because "War Never Changes" and this game has mechanics that mean men will sell you cheaper bullets if you're dressed like it's prom... but not even normal prom, like prom as shown on TV. Also, I dabbled in some taxidermy. It was a good day at home.

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